The author of a book I read claimed she hates labels. She had written a male-male (MM) romance (sex description included) and her characters were trying to not be labeled as gay because it was the first time they were doing such a thing and despite the fact that they enjoyed each other’s company, they were not comfortable with the people around them and the fans (in the books, the guys are well-known actors) labeling them as gay. They just tried to enjoy their relationship without anyone else commenting about it. Yeah, like that’s even possible…
However, in this second book of this author, she tells how she got to write MM romance. And she insists on the fact that she hates labels and labeling and that she supports the LGBTQA+ in their pursuit of being label-free.
Now… I have thought about it quite a bit and realized that that is impossible. Labels and labeling, I mean. Why? Think about it for a moment. There’s no way we can live without labels and their respective categories. Are you with me? Everything around us has a label and its respective category. This is how we function as species. Got it?
Let me explain further. LGBTQA+ community says “we don’t want to be labeled as…. ” (fill in the gap yourself), BUT they have already labeled themselves as L, G, B, T, Q, A persons. How does that work? That’s hypocrisy. That’s what this is. In the greater scheme of life, no one in this world care who someone else is fucking. No one. They just want, as the Roman saying goes, “bread and circuses”. This is the circus. No one cares about other’s life. We are all very very very selfish animals and the fact someone says he/she is selfish and only wants to do things for the others does not mean he/she doesn’t get anything out of it. Not at all. They might not get material things, but their ego gets fed: “I helped. I am selfless. I think about the others first.” Even if they consciously don’t see it, they do get an ego boost out of their “selfless good deeds”.
Getting back to the Alphabet people, as Dave Chappelle labeled them (it was part of his stand up show. He’s a comedian. If you can’t take that other people have a different sense of humor, then that’s on you, and you alone), they don’t want other people’s labels. They just want to be labeled with the labels of their choice. Makes sense?
Now… why do you want to be in a category with others? Nowadays you only hear how unique every person is, how one of a kind, yet there’s this need of membership – being a member of a group, community, whatever else you might think of. Why is there a need to not be alone? There are probably studies about that, but I haven’t looked it up. I want to get to my own conclusion on it, if possible.
Coming back to “everything has a label”. Let me explain with examples. You know two kinds of people: people who would help you when you’re in a pinch, and people who won’t (from different reasons. They are irrelevant). These are two categories that are very distinguishable in every person’s mind, correct? You might have already thought of a few persons from each category. These categories are named/labeled “people who will help me” and “people who won’t help me”. The names of these categories become labels for the persons within a respective category. True?! “Mike. Oh, I can count on Mike. He’s always there for me!” (i.e., he has the label of being a person you can count on, a person who will help you). “Karen. Yeah… I can’t ask anything of her. She’s definitely going to say no” (i.e., she has the label of being a person you would never ask anything of, because it’s in vain.)
Not convinced? Next: “This notebook is green”. There’s your label: “green”. It’s not blue, white, purple, or yellow (also labels). It is green.
Next: “He is always kind”. There’s your label: “kind”.
Next one (proving my point!): “What on earth is that thing!?”. “That’s a mosquito/bat/wasp”. There are your labels. Why do you want to know what the thing is? Because your brain needs to categorize “that thing” into “dangerous” or “harmless”. It’s where your survival instinct kicks in, for fuck’s sake.
Do you want me to keep going? It’s literally the same for e-ve-ry thing in this world!! Everything that has a name, has a label. Everything. No exceptions.
So when someone says “I don’t like labels and being labeled”, what the flying fuck do they mean? It’s impossible for us as a species not to label things! When an LGBTQA+ (by the way, what does + mean?! Everyone has a label, but it just takes too long to say every letter, or what?…) says “I don’t like labels and being labeled”, what do they mean? Just not labeling them with your label, because if you were to call a gay man “you’re a lesbian”, you might get slapped behind the back of your head.
Not sure who started labeling people after their sexual preferences. We do know that Romans like to have a go at their house boys (so that’s pedophilia and being gay at the same time, right?) and that they were notoriously gay. But honestly now… who cares? Like I said before we people are selfish animals. We seek pleasure: be it emotional, physical, psychological. Right? So if you are a man and want to fuck another man, just go for it. But in my way of seeing things, you don’t have to bring that into the discussion, to try to later say that you were discriminated against because you were gay, lesbian, etc. You were most likely discriminated against because of your own character, because if you were to keep your sex life private (extremely private, I might add), as it should be!!, no one would make that a reason to say anything against you, softening the blow of “you sucked at what you had to do”.
I’m going to leave you with this bit: if you are part of the LGBTQA+ community and think that it’s okay to have kids, just remember if everyone would be either gay or lesbian (or whatever other label you think it’s acceptable within your LGBTQA+ community instead of “straight”), our species would die out. Also, remember that you need the other gender to have kids. It’s as simple as that. Also, in this world, as it is right now, only women can give birth. Remember that. And guess what? “Woman” is a label and a category. If you are a man thinking you are a woman inside, remember that’s literally impossible to know how it feels to be a woman. You have no fucking clue. And you won’t be able to understand it, either. The same goes for the other gender: a woman can never ever be a man or do things like a man does. Because we are wired differently, in a way that we complete each other. And why’s that? To make this species evolve and survive.